Jepetto Joybuzz and the Dalaran toy store
Jepetto Joybuzz and the Dalaran toy store Alex Ziebart
Why does this even matter? According to Fulton, when immaturity and asshattery is allowed to rein supreme, it discourages large swaths of a potential player base from continuing to play, or even from signing up in the first place. Certain demographics, like women or older gamers who get enough childish antics from their kids, are especially resistant to this kind of behavior. If you look at a game like World of Warcraft, which is so eminently successful in these demographics, they've implemented a number of elements (like profanity filters, graveyard rez's, and reactive city guards) to keep the idiots at bay. When you're trying to emulate WoW's success, it's an feature set you'd be remiss not to include.
Dalaran's local toymaker, Jepetto Joybuzz, has added some new items to his stock in the last few beta patches. Each one just as overpriced as the last! His items have no real use as far as combat and stats and that sort of thing, they're just for fun. They're toys! What did you expect? Let's take a look at what he has to offer.
- Grindgear Toy Gorilla - This one-use summoned pet will cost you 45 silver. It emulates Egbert from Children's Week, running all over the place like his butt is aflame. He only lasts 20 seconds, then disappears. It almost feels like that's a bug, that the item should disappear because you learned it like other pets, but it doesn't seem like that's the case. The item specifically lists a cooldown, and you can buy multiples. They stack.
- Trusty Copper Racer - For 30 silver, you can buy this race car that looks like the goblin podracer in the Shimmering Flats. It travels 20 yards, then... disappears. With the item. Hm. This one is kind of lame.
- Paper Zeppelin Kit - For 5 gold, you get five charges. Using the item creates a paper zeppelin, which you can throw back and forth between people. It's a bit like Heavy Leather Balls, except it looks way cooler. The paper zeppelins are counted as Conjured Items, and the only last for 30 minutes after creation. Also, they're Unique, so you can't try throwing all five at once to make a fleet of miniature zeppelins in Dalaran. Sad, I know.
- Toy Train Set - For a meager 250 gold, you can buy the ultimate piss-off-my-raid item. The Toy Train Set has a 30 minute cooldown, so make sure every use is worth it! Wait until right before a boss pull, when all twenty five of you are snuggled up and buffing up. Then... train! Behold as 25 hardened adventurers and heroic heroes start spamming /train against their will. Bwahaha! Adam is going to hate me for even suggesting this, I know it.
Some of these items do something very interesting, which more or less explains away my confusion about the gorilla pet. They emulate other items. Items that are very, very difficult to get. For example, as I mentioned, the Grindgear Toy Gorilla emulates Egbert. You can only get Egbert one week out of the year. It's special! You can buy the Gorilla to have something similar, but you can only use it once before you need to buy another one. Similar item, but the original trumps it. The Paper Zeppelin Kit carries that same idea. It emulates the Paper Flying Machine Kit you get via the TCG. It does somewhat the same thing, but it has added limitations. The original is still better, but more people can join in on the fun. Pretty neat idea, I think. It lets other people experience the cool limited edition stuff without totally trivializing the rewards people already have or just handing out TCG prizes willy nilly. I have a feeling that this is one vendor to keep an eye on. I can't imagine Blizzard wouldn't add more toys to this guy, both during the Wrath of the Lich King beta and once it's gone retail.
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